BERLIN. FUN and HAPPY?

While at dinner with my business partner and his associate we began discussing why we all decided to move to Berlin. During the conversation my business partner suddenly stated that Berlin is a city to have fun, but not a place to find happiness. He believes one must go elsewhere for that. His associate immediately agreed.  I’d never even thought of Berlin along those lines before, but after his comment I had to agree as well. Berlin is a great place to have a lot of fun, but it is not a place one searches for happiness.

Berlin as a city is perfectly suited to have fun. I’m not saying Berlin is the most fun city in the world, only that the infrastructure in place is conducive to having fun. It’s one of the few major cities in the world built around the public transportation system which means one is not dependent on having a car to reach your preferred destination for the evening. Additionally, there is never a need for a designated driver! No unlucky soul reduced to coca cola all night and fighting to keep inebriated friends from standing on tables to sing off key 80’s hits at the top of their lungs with a cocktail in their hand while swaying dangerously. Throw in the relatively low cost of living and calling in sick on Monday morning doesn’t affect your ability to pay rent as it would in New York. A true Berliner can take €40 and eat at a decent restaurant, go to a bar after for drinks, hit up a club later and still have enough for a döner kebab at 5am as you wait for the subway to take you back to your centrally located apartment. That same €40 in London gets you dinner at a dodgy restaurant with questionable meat, share a pint with friends cause a cocktail is too expensive, and then standing outside a club you’d love to get in. After that you have just enough to catch the train to your dark hole of a room that is located on the outer edge of the city that you slave away to be able to afford. Berlin is a city in old Europe with the energy of the new. This clash creates a truly intoxicating mixture that breeds...fun. But happiness?

Every city in the world has a history steeped in sadness and pain. Excluding the former Yugoslavia republic, Berlin’s is a little more recent. No major European capital was forcibly split in half and physically divided against its will. Maybe the sadness of those separated families permeated the very fabric of the buildings. Or it could be the Berlin culture that even by German standards is very cold and unwelcoming. People crave social interaction on a level deeper than what a night at a club can provide. Berlin has the highest percentage of singles in Germany. Not surprisingly Berlin also has the highest rates of online dating in Germany. In a city known for having fun, why would people need the internet to meet people to date? That’s a second blog post but you can see where I’m going with this. Fun requires very superficial things while happiness requires some sense of connection.

This should probably lead to how I define happiness. Someone said to me that it is impossible to ALWAYS be happy but being content is perfectly realistic. I don’t know about that. It’s a conversation to have sitting around with friends debating over a good bottle of wine. Happiness, contentment or whatever word you decide to use is difficult to find in Berlin. My dinner companions suggested one needs to consistently take “breaks” from Berlin. Taking time off from work is obviously necessary, but they are convinced a Berliner literally needs to get out of the city limits. Get on a plane and go to an altogether different location and breathe non Berlin air. It is the only way to rid oneself of the disconnection and antagonistic mood that pervades the streets, according to them. It does alter my way of thinking about Berlin. I realized I have been chasing happiness in Berlin lately while not having any fun. How would my experience in Berlin change if I only expected fun but tempered my hope on happiness? For one, I probably would be less bitter and spend more energy on having fun. With starting a business my fun quotient has drastically dropped of late. Throw in most of the people I considered friends moving away and I rarely if ever go out in Berlin searching for.. fun. On the other hand I am constantly lamenting my unhappiness with certain aspects of the city. I need to just accept Berlin for what it is.. a mistress with some great qualities but she’ll never be wifey material. I’m OK with that. Some love affairs last longer than marriages. It gives me a much healthier perspective of my lover. Berlin, she doesn’t make me happy but she’s always down to have fun. I can live with that.