OBSERVATIONS OF RHODES, GREECE

Thanks to a cheap last minute flight I was able to go to one of the last countries I hadn’t visited yet in Europe. I’d heard so many things about Greece, unfortunately most of it was related to their economic situation at the moment, but I was excited to go. I only went to one small island out of the many Greek Islands so my observations are about Rhodes. Some things may be indicative of Greece as a whole, but I wouldn’t know. With that, I noticed these things about Rhodes while I was there. 

First thing I noticed is that everyone speaks at least some English. That’s hella important because you sure as heck aren’t reading anything in Greek with that weird a$$ alphabet. You might recognize some symbols from the Fraternities and Sororities at your university but that ain’t helping you with finding the interstate or know which is the men’s bathroom.  I lived in Italy, Spain and France and there is no way you’re finding someone speaking anything but the local language when you’re in a small village. Even if you’re in a tourist town it’s still 50/50 in Italy and Spain. France? Forget it. Even in Paris your odds are under 30% you’ll find someone willing to speak to you in a language other than French. But in Rhodes, even the grandmother at the hotel spoke enough English to get her point across. And every English word she knew she told you the Greek equivalent. Considerate, but a total waste of time. Just not one of those languages that’s gonna stick in my head. But I appreciated her effort and she was so cute! 

Another thing you notice about the Greek people on Rhodes is how polite they are! People on islands tend to be nice, but I can’t express just how polite everyone was. Always a thank you, please and you’re welcome every single time. Maybe I found this so amazing because I live in the capital of impoliteness Berlin. Thank you’s here are listed on the menu under starters and smiles can be found on the wine list where the most expensive bottles are on offer. In Rhodes the people were always super friendly and courteous. And it didn’t feel forced as it often does in service dependent areas. I’m from Florida and the biggest industry is tourism. It’s engrained in the psyche of anyone who works in the industry to be polite. Problem is it feels like it’s a front to get a bigger tip. There are some genuine people of course, but in Rhodes EVERYONE felt genuine with their politeness. It made me feel like they actually appreciated not only my business, but me choosing to visit their island. 

Greek women, I noticed them. I’m a man with eyes, of course I’m going to notice! Again, this is only Rhodes so I don’t know how it is on mainland Greece or other islands, but Greek women are hefty! In many European countries you get the feeling women are under-eating to fit a certain beauty standard, not on Rhodes. Women in Rhodes look like they are perfectly OK with eating. I personally LOVED it! Women should have curves and lumps and rounded parts. Never really saw a “thin” woman while I was in Rhodes who was Greek. God bless a culture that makes women feel comfortable in their own skin and don’t feel forced to skip meals. That alone made the trip worthwhile! 

And Greece needs to start a marketing campaign to have their language included in the discussion of sexy languages, seriously. Can’t understand a word they're saying but lord have mercy it sounds so beautiful when they speak it! The cadence is like Italian in certain ways, but they roll their r’s like the Spanish do sometimes. Really a pleasure to listen to Greek people speak to each other. Never would have thought that as I mean honestly, how often do you hear Greek? Or maybe you hear it more often than you think and assume it’s an obscure dialect from Southern Italy. I’m down with the Greek language. 

With every good thing comes some bad. There were a couple of negative things I noticed about Rhodes. The island is super touristy, which isn’t a bad thing, but they haven’t escaped the economic situation at all. Out of every 10 buildings you pass I would say that 6 out of the 10 were unfinished, abandoned or boarded up. It was startling to see the amount of buildings half finished as you drove around the island. They looked liked concrete skeletons warrior tribes had driven deep into the earth to warn trespassers. Was very haunting to see it everywhere you went on the island. Another thing I noticed is that Rhodes apparently is a hotspot for budget British tourism. I’ve lived and worked in England so I know a northern English accent very well. Sometimes I felt like I was in Liverpool or Manchester. English people by and large are very nice and a pleasure to be around. It’s just warm sunny weather and alcohol in my experience is not always the best mix with Northern English folk. It’s like God blessed people from Northern England with a trumpet for vocal cords and the more they drink the more powerful it becomes. You can hear a group of them miles away! The men fairly tame, but the women!? They are like a gaggle of geese! Did you know geese can actually be dangerous? They were used as guard animals in the middle ages. I for one would rather walk through a pitch black basement at Halloween then walk past a group of older drunk Manchester women. It’s like they channel all the anger women who walk past construction sites have to endure from men and give it back tenfold. Scary stuff. Very very scary stuff. 

Ok, back to the positives. The food!! I personally wasn’t always so impressed with Greek food before. But then again I was never in Greece before. Whoa! Every place I ate at, can’t speak for the people I traveled with, was well prepared and tasted amazing! I’m a big baby when it comes to certain things and my baby factor goes up a factor of ten when I’m faced with things that look like they could still be alive when I’m going to eat it. A chicken breast does not look like an actual chicken, same for a pork souvlaki. But squid and octopus.. eeeh, no thanks. And when they arrange it to look like it’s still alive on the plate? Nooooo. Noooooooooo. No no no. But I tried a piece, with my eyes closed, and I have to admit it was GOOD! I was impressed. And the desserts?? WHAT?! I wish I could remember the names, but even if I could my keyboard only has Latin characters so I probably couldn’t even type it out. But as a self confessed sugar addict I was in HEAVEN! They were all so light and fluffy! Perfect for eating more than one! And the prices in Rhodes were CHEAP! Not reasonable, but downright cheap! Funny thing is the only thing I ate that was below average and a bit expensive? A gyro. Weird right? The group of people I traveled with didn’t skip on anything. We always had beer and/or wine, starters, main course and most of the time dessert and we rarely paid more than €20 per person WITH tip. Can’t complain about that at all. 

One more thing I observed about Rhodes are the beaches. The beaches were nice, nothing to

St. Paul's Bay Rhodes

complain about at all. I did notice two things though that you immediately pick up on at any beach you go to. The first is that there is very little shore. Of course I didn’t visit EVERY beach on Rhodes but I saw enough. What I mean is, you went into the water a few feet away from the shore than WHOOP! That’s it, no more bottom. But the water was HELLA salty. That was actually perfect with how quickly it got deep. The saltier the water the easier it is to float. In Rhodes I overcame one of my biggest fears and swam out from a protected harbor into the middle of the open sea. I’ve always been terrified of the open sea and decided that day I was going to overcome my fear. I posted on Facebook afterwards that I “swam” about a mile in total. In reality I more like doggy paddled. When I got tired I just turned over on my back, relaxed and floated. It was very peaceful and soothing. Scarier than a muthafucca too because I kept imagining a shark coming up from the depths biting one of my booty cheeks off. But hey, I still was out in the open sea no matter how I got there and lived to tell about it. Personally, I plan on going back to Rhodes soon to explore parts of the island I missed the first time around. 

Ok, ok, my last observation is I never once saw a police officer in Rhodes. There were all these little small car and scooter rental places all over the island. A lot of them looked shady as fuuuuuck! Like they didn’t ask for any kind of driver license and preferred you paid in cash. Swear I saw an 8 year old on a quad once, alone, just gunning it and doing donuts on the beach. And  NO ONE was wearing a helmet on their scooters or quads. I just assumed it was like Florida and there was a no helmet law. Asked a local and they said in theory there was a strict helmut law for Rhodes. Where in the heck the police were I have no idea. Maybe they hadn’t gotten paid yet from the state and were like, “Fuck it! I ain’t doin SHIT until I get paid! They can kiss my hairy Greek ass!” Even at the police station in the town we were at, never a police officer. No police car, no police coming in or out, no sign that the station was even open if you wanted to go in and look for a police officer. Damnedest thing I’ve (never not) seen.