Do you see what I see??

I admire courage. I look upon people that are able to speak their minds without the safety net of anonymity and go after what they want with the green eyes of envy. Without people like that, we might never have gone to space, mapped the earth or ever drank milk. Yes, you read right, drank milk. Think back to thousands of years ago. Would you have shown enough courage to go up to a wild animal, put your mouth to a teat and suck not knowing what would squirt into your mouth? I wouldn’t do that to most women’s breast let alone a beast of nature. However, I am going to have to go with the Chinese and believe in balance, Ying and Yang. If you are fugly, please do not go up to attractive people when they are sober, hence of sound facilities and be surprised if they laugh in your face or screw their faces up in horror when you ask them out on a date. There are too many ugly people forgetting they are ugly and wasting attractive people’s time. Time is priceless people! We cannot get it back no matter what and I can assure you that I for one do not want to be on my deathbed thinking of all the minutes I lost telling busted heffas to piss off. Is there an epidemic going around CNN isn’t reporting? I have some possible theories for this dilemma we are currently in the grip of..

1.) Some bastard is going around selling enchanted mirrors where people see how they WANT to look and not how they ACTUALLY look.

2.) Something in the water

3.) The alter personas they have created online who are popular, have fashion sense and good skin have leaked into their waking consciousness so they truly believe they are those people.

4.) All the fugly people have started a pool, entry is say $50, and the first bastard to bag a beautiful person wins the pool.

Please, give your theories as well.

The most interesting and disturbing aspect of this wave is the reaction of said mosh face wankers approaching people out of their league are their reactions. I would think, if I my height to weight ratio was the same as a water buffalo and people confused the shape of my head for Mount Rushmore, and I walked up to.. Oh I don’t know, “insert famous super model here” and tried to chat her up and she sprayed her drink in my face from laughing so hard I would more or less expect that reaction. I would need to know my limitations. These days, ugly people are surprised. Surprised!? One of your nostrils is bigger than the other…significantly! You can fit a bowl up one of those things and you are wondering why she turned you down when straight women are trying to chat her up she is so sexy? Come on man! Snap out of it! Also, what person ever started the phrase, “Stop Hatin’” please hunt them down and send them to me so I can stab them with a dull tea spoon repeatedly. It’s not hatin’ you ignorant twit, it’s called being honest. Unless you have money, which negates all ugliness for women, fawn over them from afar. It’s been like that for centuries. Who are you to go screwing up the status quo with your selfishness? At least get rid of your unibrow. Who started that trend?? Send him along with the perpetrator of “hatin”. There are people walking around actually cultivating a unibrow! Purposely growing the brow and shaping it into a sharp point. And you are doing this because? World is going bonkers I tell you. While we are at it, just round up all the turds that have screen names that imply some trait they don’t have here in cyber land. If you have sexy, fine, one of a kind, amazing in your screen name and you aren’t, then you should be shot in the butt hole with a paintball gun. Really.

Costa Rica Observations II

COSTA RICA OBSERVATIONS II

This is the second part of my observations about Costa Rica. Thrown in are some random observations about Central America in general. Remember that these observations are from 2000-2001, my first time out of the United States.

1.) Ok. I lived with two host families during my time in Costa Rica. The first family had a son around my age, 23. We became friends and I spent much of my time with James and his friends. Well, James and his friends would go to strip clubs from time to time. People who know me know that I get too shy with all those naked women around. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is I was forced, yes FORCED to visit these vile locals that exploit women! Buuut, while I was there, I noticed this...In Costa Rica you never pay to get into strip clubs No matter how nice or dumpy it is, you don’t pay. Maybe this is the American in me coming out, but they are losing out on money. Men will pay to see naked women. It’s a simple fact of life. When naked women are involved, men will pay. Look at 900 numbers! Men can’t even see the person on the other side of the phone...could be Jabba the Hut, but those companies earn millions a year. Oh and strippers dance with clothes on longer than off. Maybe they did that back in the 50's, but in the 21st century?? I can see women in bikinis and lingerie on Bay Watch. Another strange thing...there is ONE dancer up on stage and that is IT. No other dancers walking through the crowd or other dancers getting ready to go up on stage..Just ONE dancer up on stage, when she finishes and goes back stage you have a room full of horny men sitting around in a room listening to bad music. Talk about awkward? The whole atmosphere in strip clubs is odd. Men just watch the strippers, only watch. No talking amongst friends, no whistling, no laughing with their friends, no blinking! Just staring like they are in some hypnotic trance. Felt like I was in a movie theater full of white people and if I said something they would shush me. Oooh the music they play in the strip clubs.. I am shaking my head in amazement. First of all there is no DJ, just piped in music from what source I don’t know. It was like someone’s 7th grade mix cd. Who plays Hotel California by the Eagles in a strip club? Or Boys II Men End of the Road?? I’m in the club about to cry listening to Phil Collins Another Day in Paradise. Where is the booty shaken’ music?! The 95 South, 69 Boyz, 2 Live Crew the music where the strippers make their asses clap like they at a gospel concert!!?? Salsa is a sexy dance, but it ain’t sexy when you are trying to strip! No. No to the salsa when you are a stripper. No, no, no. Strippers earn a wage in Costa Rica, there is no tipping. I saw strippers come in and punch a time clock. My question is, if you ain’t making hella tips stripping, WHY would you want to be in a room of horny men leering at you all night making minimum wage?? And you can’t really justify stripping without the money. I mean, I’m sure there are women who are exhibitionists, but in Costa Rica, they make the same as cashier clerk at the market. So why do it?? Go to the beach wear a thong, you’ll get hella attention and be able to tell your mother what you do for a living. Last thing...the customers can sleep with the strippers!! They see it as, why go to a strip club, see something you want, and not be able to have it. Of course payment is involved. Maybe that’s why the women don’t sweat the wage and no tips thing. Hhhmm..... Things are seriously different here.

2.) Daaaamn that was a long observations of strip clubs! Sounds like I had my ass in strip clubs every day making “observations”. Well I wasn’t!

3.) They love black people in Costa Rica! I swear. They really love black people in Costa Rica. A little history on the country. Costa Rica doesn’t have that fertile land to support all those crops that needed huge slave populations. Throw in the area didn’t have a large indigenous population to begin with, and a lot of Costa Ricans look European. In the 1950's they had a large Jamaican population move in to help build their national railroad. In these days, who is going to make the most money? The person who only speaks Spanish? Or the person who is fluent in Spanish and English? Well they speak English in Jamaica. Ok, some people might argue against that, but still. So the black people in Costa Rica usually have higher paying jobs. I would be walking along the street and it would be like a demolition derby for taxis trying to stop and pick me up. They know a black person isn’t going to stiff them on the fair. With the more European looking Costa Ricans there is no guarantee. Talk about the twilight zone! White teachers have me get the taxi cause as soon as I put out my hand, about 3 come out of no where and stop. It’s like they are stalking me or something! I heard once walking down the street, a grandmother telling her young grandchild, “See that man right there honey? That is the kind of man you need to marry when you grow up, a beautiful black man.” The little girl had blonde hair and blue eyes! I learned how lucky I am to be black living OUTSIDE of my own country...Now ain’t THAT a bitch?!

RANDOM CENTRAL AMERICAN OBSERVATIONS

While living in Central America, I had a chance to also travel through Nicaragua, Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala. These are some of the things I saw in every country. Each country had specific things, but these are things I saw that seemed to fit for each country.

1.) We don’t know what poverty is in the United States. Yes, we have poor people, but someone considered poor in the U.S. is NOT the same as someone considered poor in Central America. When someone in the states is homeless, very rarely does it mean they are sleeping on the streets. There are shelters, or they have a car, etc, etc. If you see people living on the streets usually it’s a man, every once in a blue moon you see a couple. In Central America, entire families are living IN the streets. Not just mom and dad, but children, cousins, grandparents EVERYONE in the family sleeping on flattened cardboard boxes out in the streets. I lived in the Bay Area, California. Most people in the states will say that the homeless problem is at its worse in San Francisco. People in San Francisco who panhandle, beg for money, have shoes, clothes, all their body parts. In Guatemala, Nicaragua or Honduras, the people who were begging had no arms, holding the cup with their teeth, had no eyes and you could see the hollow sockets, people with real afflictions who you know if you gave them money they weren’t going out to by cheap whiskey or get a hit of the pipe. Then again, if they did, I wouldn’t have minded. If you have nothing below the waist...I mean you are just torso...And there are no government programs in place to help you out and you are living on the streets?? I can see why you might want to escape through a drug induced haze every once in awhile. Go ahead, I won’t be upset I see you with a needle in your arm. I’ll shed a few tears cause only a person with no heart can not be affected by seeing that shyte. Because of the poverty in Central America they take begging to a completely different level. In the states, they ask, you say no, they might push a bit, laugh and joke with you, but if you say no and keep walking...they go on to the next person. In let’s say...Guatemala. Most people from Guatemala are like 5ft tall. Here comes a big black dude towering over everyone else...I stood out a bit. Oh my lord I was attacked! Kids from all corners of the city were running out and begging from me. But they don’t stop! EVER! They just keep on constantly until you dip into a place that keeps them out. But they wait for you at the door! They are like midget Paparazzi without the cameras. And you can’t give to one, it makes the others more aggressive.

2.) Yeah, they take Easter just a bit more serious than we do in the United States. You don’t see any Rabbits, no painted Easter eggs, no baskets full of candy. They have Jesus up on the cross, bibles and mass. That week before Easter week? You better drink all you can cause the week leading up to Easter? Dry! No alcohol is sold. NONE! Not in the stores, not in bars, no where! They take that shyte seriously! You see groups of kids walking down the street dressed up as angels, Roman soldiers, the Apostles, Mary and Jesus. Not because their parents tell them to, just..because. They call Easter..Semana Santa which translates into Holy Week. Oooh do they take it seriously! They had me scared like Jesus had called them up and told them that he was thinking of stopping by for a visit. “Hello. Manuel? Yeah, this is J.C. What’s up man?! Don’t need to ask how you doing cause I know already! Ha ha ha. Sorry, I always crack myself up with that one. I was thinking of droppin’ by this Holy Week. Yeah, my dad wanted me to just drop in unannounced, but I figured the polite thing to do was to let you all know.” They put these amazing scenes from the bible in the middle of streets made from colored saw dust. COLORED SAW DUST. Do you know how long it takes to make those things and they just put them in the middle of random streets?! Want a religious Easter? Go to Central America.

3.) I could very well be wrong since this is my first time out of the states, but it seems like men who travel alone seem to be more attractive on average. I’m thinking, is it because for a man to just pack up and go to a country where he knows not a single soul and doesn’t speak the language, he has to have a strong sense of self. You know, a lot of positive re-enforcement in his life. Usually, it is the attractive men who get that. So it’s easier for them to just pick up and go somewhere new without as much worry. On the other hand, it seems the females who are out alone traveling on average would be considered less attractive on average. Not females out in groups, but SINGLE females traveling ALONE through foreign lands. Is that because the females considered attractive are most likely in relationships and more likely not to leave boyfriends or their comfort zone? Are the less attractive women used to being on the fringes anyway so it’s not a big deal to be different in a new country so don’t need the safety of a group? Just some thoughts....It could be only in Central America it’s like this, but in Europe most of the men traveling alone are ugly and the women beautiful.

4.) People in Central America don’t really like Americans. When you do some research you find out why. In Nicaragua the US helped overthrow the legitimately elected President that sparked a civil war. In Guatemala we supported a dictator that killed hundreds of thousands of indigenous citizens. And in El Salvador we had a serious hand in that civil war. We supplied arms AND troops. Oh yes, U.S. troops had a hand in KILLING innocent people in these countries. The white Americans traveling around would sow Canadian flags on their backpacks. Me being black, people would assume I was from Brazil, Dominican Republic or Jamaica. It was a PLUS being black! People would talk freely around me, granted they were speaking in Spanish and I’m not fluent by a damn site. But I can pick up on true dislike in more than language. U.S. needs to be aware of that for real. We are not as loved as we think in the world.

Costa Rica Observations

COSTA RICA OBSERVATIONS

These observations are a blast from the past! I wrote these in 2000-2001, it was my first time outside of the United States and I didn’t yet speak Spanish. EVERYTHING was different to me so there are a lot of observations. I haven’t been back to the country for quite some time now, so things could very well have changed. But while I was there this is what I observed. There are two parts to these observations. Hope you enjoy them.

1.) Maaaaan, I came down here all scared thinking with all these suave, Spanish speaking, good-looking Costa Rican men I was going to be put to shame and get no play. Thank God I was wrong! Costa Rican men are some of the corniest MF’s on the planet! They are short, dress like roadies from Twisted Sister or AC/DC and have no mic game at all. They have no respect or clue about women. It has taken me awhile to figure out what they are saying after asking my teachers....but how can a man of normal intelligence think asking a female if she swallows as you walk past her is going to make a woman turn around and smile at you!? I swear! It happens ALL the time here! Doesn’t matter if the boyfriend, brother or whatever male is walking, holding hands or kissing the female. Without fail at least 1 out of every 3 young males that pass will ask if she wants to A.) Suck dick B) Get poked in the bootie hole or C) Take a cum shower... I am not kidding! These are things that men say to women on the street in public! IN PUBLIC! No wonder the females in Costa Rica are always trying to date “Gringos” which means foreigner. Is their some ritual in the country where newborn males are dropped on their frontal lobes or something? I have NEVER seen a Tico (Costa Ricans call themselves Tico or Tica depending on the sex) pull a female using any of those lines..Yet they keep on doing it. Oh, oh, this is kinda another observation. Women don’t wear skirts here too often unless they are in large groups. They can’t because the men will actually stick their hands up under their skirts or try and pull them up as they walk past! What kinda fucced up shyte is that?? Women who wear skirts are like the newborn baby animals in those African Wildlife Preserves. All the males and female friends NOT wearing skirts are on the outside, with the skirt wearers on the inside. They form a protective ring around the women to keep out the retarded men who try to cop a feel.

2.) It is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong how Ticos act. But I can kinda see how living in a country with so many beautiful women can make you a little retarded. A little known fact, when a man gets an erection, the blood comes from his knee and his brain. That means he can’t run and he gets retarded. Might explain the first observation a tiny bit better. And Ticas aren’t just beautiful....but SEXY. Oh my Lord are they sexy! They walk like they have these little radios playing Salsa music in their heads as they walk. All the movement is from their waists and they are just dancing down the streets. Throw in how they all dress like at any moment there could be an audition for a Hip Hop video hoochie and it makes for some great people watching. Now, I am no woman, but if you are wearing jeans so tight that I can read the tag of your thong THROUGH your jeans....why even wear the damn things?? Is it just for the effect so the men know you are wearing a thong?? And backless shirts...Don’t women know that’s like putting a sign on your back in bright red letters that says look at my ass crack!? The line of your spine leads to your ass. How am I not supposed to stare!!?? I am only human!


2a.) Yes, Ticas are beautiful. Yes, Ticas are sexy. Oh yes, do Ticas have buns...But I have observed a very strange phenomenon here in Costa Rica. I call it Elephantitis. Let me explain this....not sure if it is an ailment or what. I will see a very attractive female, look at her eyes, gaze at the structure of her face, then her...you know, then her waist...then BAM, this phenomenon I call Elephantitis. It’s like someone took these normal looking women from the waist up, and implanted an elephants body on the lower half of their body. Some crazy shyte! I swear, really looks like some mad scientist chopped them in half, and just put an elephant on the bottom. How else do you explain someone with upper half of saaaaay, Halle Berry, or Jennifer Lopez and the lower half of the largest land mammal on Earth?? Tell me please! I LOVE a woman with big hips, thighs, ass, all of it. If I am dating a woman and she says she has gained 10kg and I am thinking about just mo ass fo me to luv. But if you are taking two pairs of jeans and stitching them together to make on pair....or if you can’t see that bone that sticks out from your ankle, but your upper body is really thin...I’m not drinking the water anymore. Has to be some parasite or virus causing that deformity. If all of them were that big, it would just be a really big woman. No big deal, I’ve seen many of those before in my life. But that whole mixmatch thing is not cool. Matter of fact it’s downright scary. I know! It was like in that movie with Eddie Murphy where he played Prof. Klump and he took that potion to be thin and after awhile it started wearing off....THAT is what a lot of females in Costa Rica look like. Now where are the scientists to explain that huh?!

3.) Costa Rica is a country that borders both the Pacific and the Atlantic Oceans. It is amazing how different the beaches are on either coast. On the Atlantic side the water is always much warmer and calmer than the Pacific side. But if you are a surfer, you have to be on the Pacific side. One constant thing is, no good looking women go to the beach in Costa Rica. I have gone to quite a few beaches here, the Atlantic and Pacific side...Seems like ONLY the women who should not be wearing bikinis are at the beach! All the attractive women stay in the cities. Or maybe there are special days for certain types of bodies on the beach and I don’t realize it. I am not talking about perfect 10 bodies, I just mean normal. I am saying that women who wear normal bottom bikinis look like they are wearing G-Strings because their asses got hungry and sucked up all that material. And in the front they look naked cause their stomach is hanging completely over the front of the bathing suit so you only see skin and think they are nude. It’s not just me either. Females from other countries have commented on this as well...the women in the cities who look amazing don’t go to the beach. Maybe because the men act so badly when they have on clothes and they are afraid to be out in swimsuits where those retards might act even more out of line....Damn Ticos!!

4.) Buses are cheap as hell to take in Costa Rica. And buses take you anywhere in this country. You need to get to the smallest village in the furthest corner? Sure you can find 3 buses that will take you there...They have a huge bus centers where you go to catch buses for certain regions of the country. Very straight forward system. For some reason, that organization hasn’t trickled down to the local bus system. I am in Heredia; it is the 3rd largest city in the COUNTRY. There are no bus stops anywhere in this city! I will walk down the street and see people standing in the most random places. I will ask what is this about... waiting for work, some type of group finishing a meeting. No, they are waiting for the bus. Go back to that place tomorrow to catch that bus...they aren’t there! Who decides where the stop is day to day?! Why does it have to be a secret?! Why can’t they just keep it in one spot?! Who are they trying to keep off the bus?!!? I have really researched this. I have looked all over the city for strange marks