OBSERVATIONS OF SAN SEBASTIAN, SPAIN

It is the start of 2016 and only now am I posting about a trip I took in August. Shameful. Part of the delay is due to work, but a significant part is I lost the desire to write. I even fell off in my journal! Considering the amount of traveling I did in 2015 I have a lot of catching up to do. What better start than one of my most favorite cities in the world to visit, San Sebastian, Spain!

Now, I wrote observations about turning 40, but I didn’t really talk about in detail where I celebrated my birthday. As far as I know, San Sebastian isn’t as well known as a Spanish tourist destination like Barcelona or Madrid or Southern Spain, but lord have mercy it should be! These are some things I notice every time I visit this city, because I try to visit as often as possible.

If you believe in horoscopes I’m a Virgo. A TRUE Virgo so I’m told. I’m super rational and logical and detest when people try to change my opinion based on emotionally backed arguments. So astrology and crystal energy and past lives is lost on me. Totally 100% lost on me. Or used to be, until I visited San Sebastian... Now, let me explain. The first time I visited San Sebastian was in 2004 with a group of co-workers for a short weekend getaway. We were living in France close to the Spanish border and had heard it was worth checking out. The second we arrived. I’m talking about SECOND I had this overwhelming sense of déjà vu. I was convinced I’d been there before and felt like I was coming home. Crazy right!? It was my first time there, and this was before Trip Advisor and Instagram. I seemed to always know where to go without asking people or having a map. Talk about out of body experience! Some years later, a very good friend of mine convinced me to speak to a psychic. Why? I can’t remember. For sure I had a smirk on my face from the start of the “session” cause I don’t believe in that mumbo jumbo one bit! So blah blah blah the woman is talking and suddenly starts talking about an ex-girlfriend of mine. My friend must have told her about this ex and this scam art..uumm.. psychic is trying to play on my emotions. Long story short she goes on to say my ex and I shared a big love somewhere in the very Northeast corner of Spain and that I have a really strong connection to the region. Now, as I’m so analytical I immediately assumed she’d gleaned this information from my friend, but I’d never told ANYONE how I felt when I was in San Sebastian. Not a single person because it was so unexplainable for a person who is always so focused on how to explain logically. And I hadn’t even started blogging at that point for someone to google me and read up on my travels. WEIRD! But in a way, it did explain my connection with this city. I said all of that to say San Sebastian is in my heart. I always feel as if I’ve come home when I visit. It’s like pure magic when I roam those streets. Those strong feelings I always have when I visit obviously might cloud my observations. And that’s my disclaimer.

First thing I observed about San Sebastian is that it’s like the greatest hits album of your favorite band, but for a country. Seriously. It takes all the things that make Spain great as a whole and packs them all into one city! It has the typical things one would expect from Spain, nice weather, friendly open people, relaxed culture. But then it has other things I’ve never experienced anywhere else in Spain. Part of the reason could be the French at different times controlled the region which adds to the unique culture of the city. I don’t know, but whatever the reason San Sebastian is a city that will always be on repeat for me.    

It has beaches right in the middle of the city. I mean seriously, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY! Not on the outskirts, but directly in the city center. You don’t run to the beach for your morning or evening jog, you start it at the bench as you come out of your apartment. How bada$$ is that?? I’m from Florida and let me tell you, not too many places have the beach in their city center. And for all you non Miami people that say South Beach SHUUD UP! South Beach is NOT Miami. It’s a vey small section of Miami that tourists visit and then say they know Miami. I’m sure there are other cities that have this, but I only know of San Sebastian.  Also, San Sebastian is a great destination for wind surfers. AND if you are a surfer, there is a public bus which takes you to top surfing spots in nearby France. A PUBLIC BUS that takes you to surfing spots in another country!?!? Beat that California!! So if relaxing on the beach isn’t enough for you, you take a scenic bus that costs less than $6 to get to another country to go surfing? Actually, I’m not sure why I’m so excited by that because I don’t lay out on the beach or go surfing or wind surfing. I guess I got excited for all of my white friends for a second. But the thought is beautiful though!

 Then there’s the food. San Sebastian has the second highest concentration of Michelin starred restaurants in the world. The EARTH people! Not the country, but the whole entire planet!! The tapas in San Sebastian are way beyond the simple ham and potatoes variety you find in many Spanish cities. Fresh fish and seafood every day of the week, and chefs who aren’t afraid to throw down in the kitchen?? What?? This city does not play with food. In general Spain is cheap when it comes to dining out, but in San Sebastian you’re definitely going to pay more, but you get more for your money also.

Another thing for me that was very apparent in San Sebastian is there style. I don’t know if it’s due to the French influence or what. But people in San Sebastian are smoooooth. I would put this city up against any other city in Europe for the best dressed. It’s this really nice mix of classy, but not too conservative; stylish, but not too pretentious. It’s a good mix they pull off collectively very well. Which in turn means shopping in San Sebastian is dangerous. Going shopping there is like going out to a bar with that one friend that is borderline alcoholic. You wake up the next morning doing the, “Where’s all my money?” game. You’re walking down the street window shopping and next thing you know you feel the weight of shopping bags holding you down and you have no idea how it happened. Leave your bank cards in the hotel room and only take a minimum amount of cash while you city explore. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

PLUS, the people are welcoming. Ok, I’ve lived in Berlin for the last 9 years so someone from Southern Spain might argue they aren’t. Well these are my observations so deal with it. For me, they are very nice and very welcoming. My first time in San Sebastian over 10 years ago I never once felt like my color was even on the list of things people recognized. I can’t say the same about Madrid my first time there. Now, it’s extremely possible that the history of the Basque Region where San Sebastian is located has something to do with that. It’s almost like they go out of there way to be nice to anyone not from the Madrid region of Spain just to piss off the people of Madrid. A lot. Again, it could just be because of my feelings for this place and I have selective memory. All I’m saying is I feel totally unguarded when I’m walking the streets.

My last observation of San Sebastian.. They have the beach which I mentioned, AND directly overlooking the city they have mountains. I know that's not SO unique, but how many cities have build a theme park at the top of the mountain!?! I sh*t you not people! They have a theme park at the top of a mountain with a view of the entire city!! It's called Monte Igueldo. It's not Disney World but who cares! You're on top of a mountain! I admit, I was a little scared riding the coaster, but I'm glad I did! Me no punk b*tch! I even videoed it here! 

Man, I could go on and on about San Sebastian, but then it would start to sound like a love letter and not independent observations of the city. Which might explain the magic I spoke about earlier. I love this city. If it were a woman it would be the one that got away, but as I get older I’m being drawn back to it with the promise of a reconciliation. No words to really explain it properly, and that’s why you need to visit yourself and experience it first hand.

OBSERVATIONS OF NAPLES, ITALY

For many years I worked in Italy as a director for intensive summer English camps. It allowed me to extensively travel throughout Italy. Most of the sites I worked at were predominately in the North of the country. Now that I’m with someone from the bottom half of the country, Naples, I’ve had the opportunity to explore more of the South and observe the culture in a way I never could before. I’ve noticed a few things about Southern Italy...

I don’t consider myself the “average” American in the sense that I’ve lived in numerous countries, speak multiple languages and the majority of my friends are non-Americans. I am up-to-date on most international socio-political issues. One example would be why Spain is called the Balkans of Western Europe, or having the ability to explain the difference between Kurdish and Turkish cultures to confused Germans. So, imagine my surprise when I was instantly corrected when I called someone from Naples, Italian. “I’m not Italian, I’m Neapolitan.” And they said it with attitude! Like, “Get it right negro!” Well excuuuuuse me for not being informed about the underground resistance movement in the region fighting for more autonomy from Rome! In case you missed it people I’m being sarcastic. No such movement exists.  People from Naples first and foremost associate with their region. End of story. And you better not get it confused either! To do so might get you cut!

I’ve actually lived a few places where this is the case. Go to the Basque or Catalonian regions of Spain and you get the same thing. The difference in Spain is that the rest of the country vehemently fights to keep these regions connected politically, culturally and economically.  In Italy, it feels like the rest of the country could give a rat’s ass about Naples, seriously. I would even go so far as to say that if Naples decided to leave Italy and formally declare itself an independent country that there would be quite a few cheers and parties of celebration in the North. I’m almost positive Italian politicians would seriously debate if it were worth it to bring them back into the fold. No way would this happen in the states. If a city or state even JOKED about leaving the union the rest of the US would seriously get an attitude, hence why most of America distrusts Texas. 

My thing is, I think the rest of Italy underestimates the importance of Naples and all it brings to Italian culture. I also get why Neapolitans are so proud of where they come from. In a sense, their story is comparable to Black Americans. Hear me out now and let me break it down for you. I always thought I spoke Italian until I started going to Naples to visit my girlfriend’s family. I then learned I spoke Veneto which is a dialect from the North. As I worked there the most it made sense.  People in Naples have their own language. Trust me; it is its own language. When people speak it they might as well be speaking ancient Greek cause I get NOTHING of the conversation. Very similar to Ebonics in my opinion when white Americans with no contact to black American culture hear it. Many consider Ebonics to be a low-class, uneducated, bastardization of “proper” English. Same as how many Northern Italians consider Neapolitan. However, when linguists began studying Ebonics they found a complex grammatical structure with syntax rules that bridged certain deficiencies in modern English. I’m thinking Neapolitan has the same complexity if people took the time to study it. Ebonics was the natural evolution of a spoken language that African slaves were forced to learn and modified it to fit their personal needs. Look at the history of Naples and you’ll find a rich history of diversity from the people who lived and ruled there.

Another parallel I found on the cultural level. Much of the culture we assume is Italian is actually Neapolitan. Much of what we consider to be American culture began as black culture before it was co-opted into mainstream U.S. culture. Gospel, Jazz, Blues, R&B, Rock&Roll, Hip-Hop and even Techno are all innovations of Black Americans. We hear pizza we immediately say Italian. No. The first pizza was made in Naples and it wasn’t until years later that it made its way to the rest of Italy. And lord do Neapolitans take their pizza serious! If it’s not made a specific way that meets standards set in like the 1700’s they don’t call it pizza. Really. Call it whatever you like but you bet not call it pizza! The number of arguments I’ve had over what constitutes pizza in Naples is mind-boggling. Most of the songs non-Italians associate with Italy are actually Neapolitan songs. Many of the country’s most famous actors come from the Naples region. The area is a powerhouse when it comes to anything connected to film and music. Who knew??

Another way that Neapolitans are like black people? They are ghetto. Oh my goodness are they ghetto! I say that with affection! Ghetto has become a code word for a host of negative assumptions, but in reality many of the most beautiful and fascinating things came from the ghetto; the Jewish culture often times flourished in European ghettos, the Civil Rights movement in the states started in the ghetto, music, food, art forms, all started in the ghetto. Neapolitans are ghetto in the ghetto sense of the word too, just like black people can be. They are loud! House full of people and everybody speaking like no one can hear properly.  And to prove your point one has to talk louder than the other person. Whoever talks the loudest wins the argument. Through all of this the TV is on full blast for “background” noise. Sound familiar black people?? Then they will talk mess about all their family, but if you say one bad thing about one of their crazy cousins that they spent an hour bad-mouthing you might get shot.  Just because they talk bad about their family, culture or region does not mean YOU are allowed to do it. Period. In this life or the next. Or you’ll die. Horribly. Twice. I get it though! It’s like how black people are with the N-word. There is a huge debate going on in the black community right now over its use. Everyone has their opinion on if it causes damage to us as a race and sets us back as a people. In saying that, if a white person EVER ever, evereverever used the N-word around a group of black people they would literally be taking their life out of their own hands and placing it in that of those black people. It would be up to those black people if that white person lived or died. I’m not joking. THAT’S how Neapolitans are and why I feel so damn comfortable there.

These observations are getting long! Gotta break them up into two parts, stay tuned for part two! 

OBSERVATIONS OF MADRID

Ok, these observations had to be put off a long while. I wanted to make sure this was observations and not a rant against the city. So, with that, these are true observations that I have spent two years observing and would swear to in a court of law with my hand upon a bible.

1.) My first observation of Madrid is the subtle beauty of the city. People outside of the country always hear about Barcelona, which sits directly on the Mediterranean Sea and known for its architecture. Then there is Seville which has the fusion of Christianity and Islam. Madrid however tends to grow on people. Seeing the city at night all lit up, you can’t help but fall in love with the place street by street a little at a time. There, I promised myself I would say something nice before I get to the nitty gritty about Madrid. Now to the PEOPLE of Madrid.

2.) People from Madrid are called Madrileños. Well, Madrileños are RUDE. I am not some ignorant American who has never traveled making this statement. I know how large American’s zone of personal space has to be and how sickeningly politically correct we are. I know what I am talking about. People from Madrid are RUDE, in all capital letters RUDE. They are so rude that if my mother was not going to read this observation I would call them something else… Anyway, I have decided to narrow their rudeness down to just the Metro. I use the metro daily getting to and from my classes so it is the environment I have observed the most rudeness.

2a.) Ok, most large cities have metros. For people who live in Boston, NYC, London and Paris you know about the rules of riding a subway. When the metro stops and you are waiting to get on, you move to either the right (or left in London) and let everyone exit before you attempt to enter. Well, someone forgot to tell the Madrileños. People here who are waiting to get on the metro all bunch up around the door of the metro…when it stops and the doors open it’s like the metro car becomes Macy’s having an 80% off of everything sale. The poor people trying to get off get bum rushed and flung back into the car if they aren’t paying attention. My first time heading into work, I thought someone famous was in the metro with me from all the people waiting and jostling trying to be first to the door. Then I had a second thought…LYNCH MOB!! So I stepped back just in case. Brotha can’t be too careful these days. Of course with the rush of people flowing in, I couldn’t get out and missed my stop. The people waiting to get out, once the doors open, they act like its Saigon in 1975 and they have to catch the last helicopter before the communists take over the city. I have never seen people exit a metro so fast in my life. The reason for all the chaos you ask? Just plain old rudeness. All the people pushing to get on the metro are fighting for seats. For seats! They are almost killing people to be able to sit down. I have seen grown men my age knock women over carrying small children to get to a seat, old women giving elbows to ribcages for a spot and two old men almost come to blows with two young women all over seats. And when a person who really needs the seat gets on the metro? EVERYONE acts like they reading a book, newspaper or asleep so they won’t be expected to get up. Damnedest thing I have ever seen in my life. I once saw a pregnant woman with her arm in a sling not get a seat on the metro. Madness I tell you. Oh, and let’s not forget about the people who are rushing to get off the metro. You think they are in a fit to get off so they won’t get stuck on the metro right? WRONG. I thought that was the case until I saw them still running once they were clear of the crowd. They run to the elevator. Now, running for the elevator is not that big of a deal. I personally don’t understand why they run for the elevator, and if they miss it, WAIT for it to go all the way up, and then come all the way down. Every metro station has escalators. I understand not being able to walk up stairs, but escalators do it for you! I never take the elevator and I never just ride the escalators, I walk them. I always make it to the top before the people who take the elevator. One day I decided to just ride the escalators to see how much faster the elevator was….I still beat the people to the surface! They fight to get on an elevator, squish and shove to be crammed in a small box, and it’s slower than just STANDING on the escalator to the top. I don’t get it…. And my last observation on Metro rudeness is…If all the seats are taken on the metro, those left standing all cluster and crowd around the door. Even if the morning and evening rush hours are over, people stand RIGHT in front of the door. I mean it is hot and the windows are fogged up, but people will not move down the length of the car to thin things out. I just don’t understand. It’s like they are a pack of llamas and there is safety in numbers.

3.) My last bit of rudeness, but this just may be a cultural thing. People here in Madrid have no problem passing gas in public. They don’t do it loudly, but we all know the silent ones are the deadliest. For some ungodly reason, they choose to fart on metros or trains that are FULL of people. Now, the main staple of Madrileños diet is ham, eggs, potatoes and chorizo (a type of sausage). Maaaan, talk about STANK! The first time I was on a crowded train and someone farted I thought someone had literally shat himself. I automatically had the “Goddamn!!” face. You know the one where your lips get all fat and try and touch your nose and your eyebrows get all scrunched down in the middle…Work with me here people! I can’t draw a picture for you, but black people know what I am talking about. Any who, I had that face. It smelled so bad it gave me a headache and made me mean. You know how real bad smells you can’t get away from just make you angry. I was afraid to breathe because I thought the smell would get on my tongue and I’d taste it. Looking around, everyone else acted like nothing out of the ordinary was happening. I thought I was the only one that smelled it. So I figured I had dragged my hand through shit on the handrail and had touched my top lip. However, one day my flat mate and I from Turkey were speaking about it and he said the same thing. So I am not crazy! Spanish people let out some hideous smells on crowded public transport, but the other ones pretend they don’t smell a thing.

4.) One of the most surprising things I have noticed in Spain, not just Madrid is that Spanish people can NOT dance. I know, I know, you must be thinking I am wrong. It’s the truth though, I swear! I figured, Puerto Ricans invented Salsa and Meringue, Cuba has the Mambo and Brazil the Samba. But if you notice, all those dances are from LATIN America, not Spain. Yes, Spain has Flamenco, but it is not the type of dance where you can do your thing to in a club. Spanish people don’t even dance as well as white people from the United States. I mean, white people in the states are surrounded by Latin and black people so they get rhythm my osmosis or something. You can’t imagine how dishearting it is to be at a concert and the entertainer tries to get everyone to clap to the beat of the song, and all the Spanish people start out ok, but then do that clapping faster and faster thing until they have to stop. I thought only white people did that?? How can these be the decedents of the same people that in Mambo Kings??? Obviously it’s the African blood.

5.) That brings me nicely into my next observation…Music in Madrid (i.e. Spain) is AWFUL. Music from Spain is the worst I have ever heard in all of my travels. Now, let me clarify something, Spanish music is NOT Salsa, Meringue or anything like that. That is LATIN music. Also, Spanish people for some reason are quick to distance themselves from that type of music. I personally think it is because they look down on non-Spain Spanish people. What they consider Spanish music is not Spanish at all. It’s Rock and Pop, which is from the U.S., but they sing in Spanish. That is like someone from Sweden using Salsa beats, but singing in Swedish calling it Swedish music. No, it doesn’t work like that. All the clubs play that cheesy techno music that was dead 10 years ago at least. If you are lucky they play that…most likely they are playing 80’s rock music, AC/DC, Metallica and Black Sabbath. There are a few Hip-Hop clubs in the city, but they are always wall-to-wall with people. Since Spanish people can’t dance it’s like going to a contest for people trying to act like fishes, entirely too much flopping around, jerking and twitching for me.

6.) Another observation, is that here in Madrid, they dub everything into Spanish. No matter the movie or television program they dub it into Spanish. When I tell people from Madrid that in the States we dub nothing they don’t believe me. It’s a Spanish film, then get ready to read when you go to the movies because it will be in Spanish with English subtitles. People who saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in the theatres? Yo’ asses read during the entire film. Here? No. They even dub the parts of the movie not meant to be dubbed! For example, you remember the old Rambo movies? You know how when the Russians spoke in Russian they put what they said in subtitles? Well here they don’t. They dub it in Spanish with the voice over people trying to speak with a Russian accent. Now the funniest thing I have ever heard is a Spanish Russian. But the BEST has to be when they have martial arts movies and the Spanish voice over people try and speak like they are Chinese. It’s bad enough in English, but in Spanish it is just plain wrong. They dub so much here that people have no idea what Tom Cruise, George Clooney, Brad Pitt or anyone else famous really sound like. The guy who does the voice for Tom Cruise recently did a voice over for a car commercial here in Madrid. How about people were seriously going around talking about, “Hey, did you know Tom Cruise drives a Honda Civic? Oh yes, he is doing the commercial for them on TV.” An entire city of people (6 million) truly believes that Will Smith is fluent in Spanish after watching I, Robot….

7.) Let’s just stay on the public media of Madrid for a bit more. I know people in the states are too hung up on nudity and such on television. The Janet Jackson Super Bowl titty is proof of that. I am not in the least bit prude, however, I have to say television here in Madrid has made me say, “What the hell!?” more than once. Once such incidences is the commercial for “Bring it up.” Now, that is the actual name of the product. I have not made this up in the least. Now let me explain the product. It is this clear plastic tape/cover that women can place on their breasts to actually, “Bring it up” so they don’t sag. On the commercial, which I saw at 1pm in the afternoon on T.V. had old women displayed topless with their breasts hanging down to their waists….they then preceded to pull up their breasts like they were raising a Venetian blind and secure them in place with this “Bring it up” product. I didn’t even react at first because I just knew I had not seen what I did. But the next commercial break? Sure enough, more titties using “Bring it up.” Another observation is for some reason, Spanish people don’t like being alone on television. There is never one host like Oprah, Jay Leno, David Letterman, etc, etc. They always have a table with at least 5 people sitting around it all trying to speak at the same time. There is a late night show, can’t remember the name and it isn’t important. What IS important is that every show, at it comes on about 11pm or so. Remember, in Madrid they eat dinner at 10pm most nights… So at 11pm, they have a show that comes on that has ALWAYS has a striptease act or people getting naked on the set. When I say naked, I mean NAKED. I saw three women perform their strip routine in a bed, touching and kissing, with the little runway strip on the coochie showing. You know what; maybe Madrid isn’t that bad at all….Guaranteed naked women every night of the week! On that same show, they were showing Porn from the 20’s and 30’s. One of the many hosts kept on saying, “Toma! Toma! Tomalo! Tomalo!” when it got to the scene where a man was trying to force a woman to go down on him. For all the none Spanish speakers, Tomar is the verb for take, so literal translation is “Take it! Take it! Take IT!” I couldn’t help it and fell out laughing.

Ok, that is enough for now. I am going to have to break these Observations up into two parts. I haven’t even begun to get started yet on these people. Hope this was worth the wait.